The Opening Act

Greetings friends, colleagues, and... others. My name is Joseph Cater and I've created what may be known as the greatest innovation mankind has seen in billions of years. You have stumbled upon this section of the internet and I must first apologize. This is The Varietarium and I would not blame you if you left immediately after reading this sentence. You will now receive a few moments to let yourself click off of the page, delete your internet history, and destroy any remnants of your computer so that no one will know that you actually took time to read this. Your few moments are up, and now you're stuck with me for the long haul.

While spending your time here, you may learn about myself, and before I have people exposing me, I'm going to expose myself (not in the nasty way, of course). As previously mentioned, my name is Joseph Cater, named after Insane Clown Posse's Violent J (Joseph Bruce) and Shaggy 2 Dope (Joseph Ustler) why my parents thought it was a good idea to name me after them is beyond me. I prefer to think I was named after Joseph Gordon-Levitt, or Joe Pesci, or even Joseph Stalin, but that last one seems highly unlikely as I don't believe my parents were advocates for that guy. I would say my greatest interest is film, judging by the amount of pointless trivia I have allotted over the years and my need to buy DVDs just so I can have them in my collection. Some of my favorite film franchises include: Halloween, View Askewniverse, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Austin Powers, and Monty Python movies. There are many more, but that would mean taking time to write down every movie I like, and no one would end up reading that list.

Another one of those "interests" I have is music. I, along with a good chunk of our population, have listened to quite a lot of it over the years. I was quite literally raised on Insane Clown Posse until I started repeating some of the more inappropriate lyrics and I wasn't aloud to listen to it anymore. After that I remember Slipknot. And Korn. And Marilyn Manson. And System of a Down. And Sublime. And Green Day. And so many others that I probably shouldn't have been listening to at the time, they were affecting my poor little baby brain. I now make decisions on what I want to listen to, all of the aforementioned bands being a part of my collection, along with many others.

That is what I want The Varietarium to be, a collection of my thoughts on various music and films and find myself experiencing. There will be things you haven't heard or seen, as I don't expect respectable people to be listening to my kind of music or watching my kind of film. But don't worry, there will also be things you have certainly heard of that I will talk about. Thanks for your stay.