My Favorite Boy

https://theredlist.com/wiki-2-24-525-527-765-view-1990s-3-profile-johnny-d.html

On June 9, 1963 people were born. I'm sure a lot of people were born on this day, but there was one man that I just adore. If you are familiar with my previous works or know me in real life, it is no surprise who I am speaking of. He is a world famous actor and musician. He is the greatest boy, hence the title. He is Johnny Depp.

His career started his acting career in 1984 with the film A Nightmare on Elm Street, the first installment into the slasher series, as Glen, the final girl's friend/love interest. After that he was put into the film Platoon as Lerner. From this point on I must apologize, because I may not have enough knowledge of the films he was in, as I have not seen some of them, or have no watched them in many years, and their memories have drifted away from me. That is the case with Platoon, I have not seen it, and at this point I have no plans to, that is my own flaw. This is also the case with Cry-Baby, where I have not seen it but my basic knowledge is that he plays a greaser of some sort, presumably named Cry-Baby, and I believe they sing in it, but Depp's voice is replaced with a professional singer in those scenes.

Now for the next film, Edward Scissorhands, I have seen, so I know that he plays the title character, a man with some pretty big scissors in the place of hands, and he falls in love with Winona Rider. My early memories of watching this film is near the beginning when he accidently pokes a bunch of holes in a waterbed. Truly a hilarious, riveting, and insightful scene into the world of "If you had scissors instead of hands." After that he was in the movie Benny & Joon, which I know nothing about other than that my dad owns it on DVD. Thanks Dad.

After that it was What's Eating Gilbert Grape, with Leonardo DiCaprio (another favorite of mine) as a small child. I watched this movie so long ago, that I remember almost nothing about it, and I'm not about to read a Wikipedia article for it and spoil it if I plan to view in again. Don't @ me. In 1994 he was in Ed Wood, a biographical film about Edward Wood, with Depp as the eponymous character. I have not seen it, and I have wanted to for the past few years, but I cannot find a DVD copy for the life of me, and I'm not about to order a DVD from amazon like some kind of plebian.

He did some other movies that I haven't heard of, whatever, but then Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. You get to see Depp high as hell driving around Nevada or Arizona or something. It's great. After that it was Sleepy Hollow, where he played Ichabod Crane and was trying to solve the whole thing with the Headless Horseman. How terrifying. If I'm remembering correctly the Headless Horseman was played by Christopher Walken, which is honestly a great role for him. It's certainly better than playing Perkins in the disaster that was Nine Lives. Then Depp was in Chocolat, which I own but still have not seen. I think it's a romantic film that incorporates chocolate?

Now that we're officially in the 2000s, Johnny Depp starts it out right by playing notorious cocaine-man George Jung in the film Blow. I watched this one about a year ago, and at this point I think it has become one of my favorite crime films, along with Reservoir Dogs and The Departed. Then, you better look out for this one: Johnny Depp plays in a movie about Jack the Ripper! He doesn't 'play' the serial killer like I would want him to, instead he plays a detective on his trail in From Hell, the title coming from a famous letter sent by the spooky knife man, it's a fun letter, not so much of a fun film.

Badabing, badaboom, now we have Once Upon a Time in Mexico with Antonio Banderas. I hate to admit it but, I have only seen the second half of the movie. It's truly a sad day because I don't know the initial premise, but I do know... other things about the movie but I'm not about to be handing out spoilers for it. Then John-Boy went on to film a pretty well known film, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, and among things I am ashamed of, one of them is that I have never seen a Pirates of the Caribbean film. I think I saw part of Dead Man's Chest and that is the most contact I've had with them. This is one of my greatest sins and I deserve any punishment you deem fit.

SECRET WINDOW. Based on the Stephen King short story Secret Window, Secret Garden. It's about some author and his cool interactions with one fan (btw: they're not cool interactions. they are the opposite of cool. they are warm). Shim Sham Yim Yams, the next film is Finding Neverland, about Johnny Depp falling in love with someone and it might have something to do with Peter Pan? I'm not completely sure. And then there came a film that people don't like for some reason: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I generally enjoy it. I will say that it is not as good as the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory from 1971 but I think both are pretty good. I think the reason people hate the remake so much is because the original is such a beloved classic that the idea of remaking it is weird. And it's not as good at the original. But it's still good. That's all I'm trying to say. The original is good. The remake is good. They are not the same level of good.

Corpse Bride. Depp is in an animated film as some nerd who's wife dies (?) and then they get married in the demon world. Funny Pirate Movie #2 & #3 come out. And then the movie came out. The Movie. You know which one I'm talking about. It is a magnum opus to many creators: Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, Helena Bonham Carter and Alan Rickman. I love this movie with all my heart and would watch it every day if I could. It is, of course, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, the greatest horror themed musical I have ever seen, and that is all I will be saying. If you haven't seen it, you will not get information about it from here, and I'd ask that you don't even look it up, it's very important that you just turn it on and let it play.

Some other movies that no one cares about happened after that, I mean, how can you be excited for new movies when the best one was already made? Anyways, he was in a movie about Alice in Wonderland, an animated reptile movie, Funny Pirate Movie #4, a comedy film about vampires, that movie where I'm pretty sure it's racist, a musical where he was in like two scenes of and he's still the best part, an Alice in Wonderland sequel, a movie where people pretend Harry Potter is still relevant, Funny Pirate Movie #5, a remake of Murder on the Orient Express, and finally, his most recent work, another movie where people pretend Harry Potter is still relevant.

My conclusion: With Sweeney Todd being Johnny Depp's magnum opus, his later movies could not live up to it, thus flopping at every turn no matter what the film is about. This only effects the audience, as I'm sure that Johnny still gets a lot more money than I can dream of at this point. Keep getting them fat stacks Mr. Depp, and I'll try to enjoy Fantastic Beasts 3 (That last part is a joke I do not plan to watch the next installment of the series because I have lost all interest).